So Blessed

Something that didn’t happen in a very long time happened this morning.


Zander woke us at 4.45am. Because it's unusual for him to wake that early, I knew something was wrong and noticed that his nappy somehow leaked and his back was wet. I am not sure why his nappy leaked, as it wasn't even full.

About a month ago we switched from Pampers to Huggies Gold because Pampers used to leak every single night and also during the day, and not just pee. Since using Huggies Gold, which by the way is much cheaper than Pampers, we did not have that problem again once, except for this morning. Which is why, for this time only, I won't blame the nappy for leaking but rather blame myself for perhaps not putting it on tight enough. (Please don't get me wrong. I do understand that some nappies work for some, while others work for others. I am in no way criticizing Pampers. Pampers just didn't work for us.)

By around 7:30 this morning when Zander started revving me, (we use this term for him moaning about everything all the time for no apparent reason) I knew it was because he was tired so I tried to put him to sleep. Which of course didn't work. As soon as he realized what my motive was for rocking him, he pushed himself up and complained. So I put him down to play while I served and prepared dishes in Cafe World. (A very addictive game from Zynga on Facebook and also a complete waste of time but what the heck.)

When the domestic worker, Joyce, arrived, she gave Zander porridge and put him down to play again. By now it was already around 8 am. After a while I turned around from where I was busy on the computer and this was what I saw:

Little bugger discovered my cd's today and pulled some out, one by one.

The other day Zander was sitting in his clip on high chair by the kitchen table, munching away on some finger foods to keep him occupied while I prepared supper. Chris was outside watering the garden. I didn't really take much notice at what Zander was doing all the time. I'm sure you know what it's like when you're busy with 100 things at one time? You just occasionally glance at them to check if they're still ok, right?


Then Chris came in to get a glass of water and casually asked me what I gave Zander to eat, pointing at the floor and asking, "what's that?”. I didn't really care to look, I just glanced quickly at what Chris was pointing at, telling Chris at the same time that I gave Zander small cut pieces of a pear, figuring in my head that Zander dropped some pieces on the floor like he always does.

Then it registered with me!

Whatever was on the floor was definitely not something I gave Zander to eat. It was not even remotely looking like pear in any form. It was dark brown and in liquid form. Chris and I both confirmed our suspicion at the same time with a loud, shocked shout "It's crap, POOP!!” .

Still in denial, on closer inspection, we found that the poop was running down his legs, dripping on the kitchen floor.

Needless to say, we picked him up very carefully and dumped him in the bathtub, clothes and all.

My guess is that this episode was just one of many others to come, which at the time wasn't funny, but is now.

I would love to hear about similar episodes happening to other parents, I'm sure it happens all the time!

At last I’m able to write on my blog again.


Poor Zander has been so ill since last week, I just didn’t get time to write here. Sadly we also missed out on a planned get together with Karen and Dries on Saturday.

Friday evening we had to rush Zander to casualties because he had problems breathing.  The doctor there told us that Zander has an upper airway infection. He wanted to admit Zander to the hospital for the night, but we decided to first nebulize him and see what happens.

The nurse at casualties warned us not to let the mask touch Zander’s face as it can be quite intimidating to babies and young children, and it might just upset him. Amazingly Zander loves the nebulizer! When we turn it on, his face lights up and he holds his face for us to put the mask on. After a few minutes he nods off to a peaceful sleep. It must be because of the sound of the nebulizer, as it’s  “white noise”. It is so funny. We now refer to Zander as our little nebulizer addict.

The nebulizer worked like a bomb. Zander was still a little ill when he got christened on Sunday (He was crying all the time, what a nightmare!).  Today he’s almost his old, chirpy, funny, self again.

We never thought it necessary to buy a nebulizer as we already have a humidifier for his room. Now I regret ever buying a humidifier, and not rather the nebulizer!

Three hoorays to one of the best inventions ever!

So I am now looking for healthy cookie recipes for babies or toddlers. If you know any, please feel free to post it in the comment box!

Can't believe that we were swimming on Sunday and sweating from the heat, and today, two days later, we are freezing! What the heck is going on?? (Not that I complain, I prefer winter).











Zander loves water! I took this photo on Sunday.

A few months ago Zander started to only nurse at around 6 o’clock in the mornings when he woke, and again around lunchtime.
Just before he goes to sleep, right after his bath at around 8pm, he always gets a bottle of Simalac HD Formula instead of breast milk.

I noticed the past month that Zander didn’t nurse with as much enthusiasm as before and he started to want more solids like purity and yogurt or whatever we were eating. He also started to nurse only in the mornings when he woke, but only for a minute or so, skipping the lunchtime feeding.

Saturday morning I decided to skip breastfeeding when he wakes up, and to give him a bottle of formula to see if maybe he’d rather want that (He loves his bedtime bottle of formula). He refused the formula. Then I made him tea, which he also refused.

Apparently my big boy decided he is not a baby anymore and does not want to nurse anymore. Since Friday morning he didn’t nurse once and also didn’t indicate that he wants to. He lost interest in nursing completely!

Since Saturday he only drinks one bottle of formula right before bedtime and the rest of the day he eats purity, yogurt and whatever we’re having.

I miss the closeness of breastfeeding him, but I’m also very relieved that I won’t have to battle with weaning and that I no longer have to worry about what I’m eating or drinking.

I can finally start to try and diet to get rid of all this unwanted pregnancy weight!

To me a walking ring means a few minutes’ peace. Time to make a quick cup of coffee, read an email or write my blog.

Neither Chris, nor I am the boss in this house anymore. The Master of this house is called Zander. He took over our lives completely and he's not even eight months old yet. He's got quite a temper for such a young, little man.


Nothing gets done without his consent anymore. Everything we might decide to do depends on him.

All of you with small children probably went through the same phase? (I sure as hell hope so; otherwise we're doing something terribly wrong with raising Zander.)

Zander started throwing tantrums.

Not the "fall on the floor and spin around as fast as you can" ones yet, but impatient, screaming fits.

When he wants something and he doesn't get it immediately, he screams out his disapproval and impatience and goes red in the face with anger. I'm sure it will only get worse. To me it's quite funny and I cant help but laugh at him when he does that, after which he joins me in laughing at him, which results in me laughing more and giving him probably the wrong message of approval?

I'm worried that it may become a problem when he's older and that this is just a first warning sign of what's to come? Maybe I'm laughing because I don't know how to handle the situation? I don't know what to do about it. How do I teach him that he can't always have what he wants in a nice way?

Any advice?

Don't get me wrong. I love Zander. I love having him in my life. He's adorable. He's cute. He sleeps through.
I answered the door very politely with a clear attitude of "now is not a good time". After she said what she wanted to say, when she was just about to leave, Chris popped up behind me and informed the neighbour that if she doesn't come in so that I can make her coffee, he will never get coffee!!

I forced a surprised smile and unlocked the security door for her to enter after which I made the coffee. (Btw, Chris don't really like coffee that much which is why I was so surprised) If I didn’t know him better I’d suspect him of having an affair the way he behaved!

The neighbour only left after 7pm after which we had to bath Zander and feed him which took another hour. You can just imagine how pissed off I was. I told Chris in no uncertain terms that in future he can entertain her on his own and that I have too much to do in the week to have unplanned two hour coffee visits from the neighbour.

His reply was that he meant well because he thought I needed some company. (Awww!!) Chris really is that naïve. He's such a good person that he don't realize when he actually messes up. He can never say no to other people. So for the first time I complained about not having time for myself to do things I want to do anymore.

We've now agreed that he would look after Zander when he gets home for two hours, two days a week and perhaps one day on a weekend.

I'm tired. I need a break. I need some "me" time.

Thank you Chris, I love you.

The day we found out I was pregnant, as promised in yesterday's post:

I woke up the morning of Sunday, July 26, 2008 and did a pregnancy test like so many times before, not really anticipating a positive result. Already thinking what I'll say this cycle when everybody asks: " Are you pregnant yet?”


See, that was what pissed me off the most. My mom would call at the end of each cycle (yes, she somehow worked it out and knew when that was!), and ask me whether I'm pregnant yet. I mean, ffs, if I were, wouldn't I tell her, and EVERYONE else?????

Many people were so damn insensitive while we were trying to conceive. We got advice like: "Just relax and it will happen." RELAX??? Haha!! How the hell was I supposed to relax when everyone's breathing down my neck all the time?? When medical bills are skyrocketing??? (For some reason medical aids don't see infertility as a medical problem, so most of the stuff related, they don't pay.)


I came to a point where I refused to visit most people with small children. I just couldn't bear it. In my mind and heart I gave up completely. I even convinced myself I don't want a baby anymore. But Chris was persistent. We were fighting a lot about this. How funny that they call it "making love", when all we did that time was fight because I was sick and tired of having to "make love" at times when the fertility monitor or the doctors ordered us to.
To get back to the reason for this post:



I can only remember a few things about that ceremony. At one stage the speaker said that God asked him to mention that there's a couple in the church who's been battling with infertility for a long time and spent a lot of money on it, and that they will have a baby within the next year. Chris and I looked at each other, shocked, but not convinced. What's the chance God would send us that message? In and NG Church??? So to validate everything, as we were very sceptic (we are only human after all) we went to the front after the service to speak to the speaker.

There was a lot of people there, waiting to speak to the speaker and were just standing around, waiting for our turn. Suddenly he walked up to us and said, "You are the people I was talking about regarding the infertility". (Validation number one)

I nearly fainted. We informed him that we just got a positive result that morning. He then asked if he might pray for us. By now I was crying like a baby for some unknown reason. He had his hand on my stomach and prayed for God to protect the baby and not let him tore loose (?). We didn't understand what he meant with that, but assumed it was because I had a horse and have been riding every day for the past year and a half. We decided that I wouldn’t ride while I'm pregnant.

In hindsight we realised what the speaker actually meant that day didn't have anything to do with horse riding. Zander was born via emergency caesarean at 36 weeks from placental abruption. In other words, the placenta tore loose. (Validation number two)

Alley became my “baby”. I spent at least 3 hours every single day with her. Grooming, riding and playing with her. She was my life. She understood me and comforted me when I needed comforting. We learned together. We loved together. We missed Chris together. (During that time Chris was working in Potchefstroom during the week and he only came home on weekends or when the Ovulation Monitor predicted ovulation.) Horses are such sensitive creatures. No one will understand if they haven’t experienced it themselves.

Chris and I started to go to Medfem Clinic in Bryanston, to see Dr. Johan van Rensburg for our infertility problem. By now I was really fed up with the whole process but Chris refused to give up. I had another laparoscope and was diagnosed with Endometriosis stage II. It was removed with laser.

By now everything they did was just another procedure and didn’t give me any hope at all. I was so used to it all already and I have accepted not having children. I had my horse and my husband. I was happy; I didn’t miss anything in my life. (Or so I made myself believe). I loved living in Welkom.

Then I fell pregnant. (I will tell you more about the miracle on the day we found out in my next post)

I was not allowed to ride Alley anymore. Chris wanted me to move to Potchefstroom immediately. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. But I moved and Alley moved with, to new stables. Her stabling costed us
R3 500 per month, and because I couldn’t ride, and was scared she might jump on me while I’m pregnant and hurt the baby, I didn’t go to see her often anymore.

I found a new love.

My baby. I decided to give Alley away a few months after Zander was born. The woman I gave Alley to was the ex girlfriend before me of my ex. She promised to look after Alley well, and gave me full access to Alley whenever I like. I liked the thought of that, as it didn’t sound so final. (I could never sell her to someone not knowing what become of her.)

I haven’t been to see Alley again, all this time I’ve been in denial.

Until yesterday when she posted photos of Alley on Face book. It broke my heart to see her again. I don’t easily cry or show emotion, but in privacy I shed a tear or two for missing Alley. I’m still wondering whether she blames me for giving her away and for not being there for her anymore. I might build up the courage to go see her some time - how suitable the name Torn Allegiance to this situation…

The past weekend I had my best friend and my cousin over for a visit. Chris made the suggestion that we all go to Klipdrift dam on Sunday for some fun with the boat. Chris has a rubber duck.


We had a lot of fun and all in all it was a lovely, fun filled day. We had people fishing just a few metres away from us, and two of the guys asked Chris and Chris' friend, Abrie, to tow them on the half pipe. (A 2-metre big blown up tube thing) The guys were big and I would guess each weigh at least 150 Kg, which meant that should they fall off, they would have to put in a lot of effort to get back on the tube from within the water which means that we were eagerly waiting in anticipation for Chris to throw them off the half pipe!

The next moment, exactly that happened and we were cracking ourselves, imagining how those to blocks of men are going to battle to get back on, and it's too far away to swim back. What we didn't see was that the whole boat has tipped over as well!!! When I saw it, I looked again as it was like I didn't want to see what I was actually seeing. I was horrified at the sight. I didn't care about the boat, but it was too far for me to see if everyone was ok. First thing I thought was how I'll have to raise Zander on my own.

My cousin and I immediately got into my car and went to the shop close by to find help as we didn't yet saw anyone else with boats on the dam that day. The owner of the resort promised to come with his boat within a few minutes and I sped back to the dam. I was informed that it seems like everyone is fine from the side. The people next to us had binoculars and could see all four men, trying to swim (pull) the tipped rubber duck out.

I was relieved that Chris was ok, but inside I was also very angry with him for some unexplained reason.

The men and a lot of other fishermen managed to turn the boat around once the owner helped to pull them out to safety. The boat is fine, and so is everyone else. I thank the Dear Lord for that.

It could have been so different...

Since we moved into our new home in September this year, we had a problem with a stray (?) male cat coming into our home at night. I will refer to him as The Stray in the rest of the post. Now I'm sure you all know how bad cat pee smells and that it's nearly impossible to get rid of the smell.


The Stray was marking our house all over like it belonged to him. The Stray usually comes in at the early hours of the morning and meow loudly all the way wile he strolls through our home. He made himself quite at home.

I woke one morning early, felt Smokey, Chris' cat, on the bed next to me and cuddled her. When I opened my eyes I noticed that I was not cuddling Smokey, but The Stray! Needless to say, I shouted and The Stray ran away.

We have two female felines. Both have been spaded so I'm wondering why The Stray chose to mark our house as his territory.

We are not sure if The Stray belongs to someone or not, but when my dear husband Chris threatened that he's going to shoot the cat, the image of a little girl crying over her lost cat appeared in my mind and I begged him not to kill The Stray. Chris and I agreed that he’d go to the SPCA and discuss the problem with them.

Which is what he did. He came home with a cage that almost works like a bird trap. It has a door that is triggered to shut as soon as the bait is touched. Of course the cage was not free, we had to pay R10 / day to rent it, which sounded like a real bargain. The bait, my dear husband decided, will be a piece of Vienna sausage and a chicken wing.

The first night he set up the trap and we were confident that our sleeping problems would soon be a thing of the past. Then at around 10pm we heard the trap slamming down and we knew we caught The Stray!

Big was our disappointment when we realized we caught Smokey, our own cat. Through the next five days we caught Smokey twice, and Missy, my cat, also twice. The Stray didn't come into our home once. By then our bill was R50 for the cage and still no Stray. We decided that The Stray obviously knows those traps and Chris took the trap back to the SPCA.

The next night/early morning The Stray was back. He was annoying us and waking us up at silly hours of the night/early morning once again. As soon we move to try and catch it, it runs away. It went on like that again for a few nights.

Then Friday evening I told Chris I'm going to close all the windows in the home and only leave one open in our bedroom. That way we might have a remote chance to catch The Stray as he usually enters through our kitchen window.

At around 2am that morning I woke from a soft sound at my window. I couldn't see anything and assumed it was one of our own cats going out for a loo run. Then Chris saw the cat on his bedside table. There were a few empty glasses also (men!) and The Stray was standing over them. Wisely Chris decided to give The Stray some space and Chris pretended to sleep.

The Stray left and started meowing in the hall. Chris got up and I could hear him chasing The Stray around the house. The Stray ran straight into the closed kitchen window and then straight into a spare bedroom on the other side of the house. Chris wisely decided to lock The Stray in that room until the next day.

There was huge commotions and meows in that room all night long, and we didn't sleep at all, but we didn't mind, having the knowledge that The Stray will soon be at the SPCA and we'll at last get the long awaited, uninterrupted sleep we've longed for so long.

The next morning Chris caught The Stray (after it took Chris about half and hour to find The Stray where he was hiding underneath the pillows and bedding on the bed), put him in a box and took him to the SPCA. I didn't even mind cleaning all the cat pee in that room. I did it with a smile on my face and a song in my heart.

What would you have done, and do you think it was cruel to take him to the SPCA where he might get put down in the end?

I just read in Potchefstroom Herald that the R5 Mandela 2000 coins could actually be worth something.  I have collected 68 of them and hundreds of the 1994 coins.  Seems they are now collectors coins?