So Blessed

My cousin had a baby just a month after Zander was born, his name is Tristan. He is about 4 months old now. In the beginning of her pregnancy my cousin had German Measles. Doctors recommended that she has an abortion, but she decided to keep her baby, something I really admire. Tristan was born at about 24 weeks and only weighed 1.6 Kg. My cousin doesn't have medical aid, so Tristan was born in a state hospital, and South Africa is known for their bad state hospitals. Tristan and my cousin was discharged after a few days. The first time I saw Tristan I was very shocked at his size. He was so tiny! I couldn't believe the hospital discharged him, as in a private hospital the baby doesn't get discharged if he weighs less than 2.5 Kg. But it seemed Tristan was just fine and had no obvious problems...

Up until a few days ago...

My cousin called to tell me Tristan was in the hospital with influenza and that the doctors also picked up that there's something wrong with his heart. The doctors apparently said they're going to concentrate on healing his influenza first, and then they'll see what they can do about his heart.
Yesterday my cousin called me, crying uncontrollably, to tell me that the doctors told her Tristan was going to die, but they don't know when. Because of the German Measles she had early in pregnancy, he has brain damage and also a heart problem and there's nothing they can do for him. They also told her, should another baby come in who has a better chance of survival, they will move Tristan out of ICU and let him die. That is the way it is in South African state hospitals. I can't imagine how my cousin must feel! She also lost another baby boy a few years ago, a few days after his birth.

How does a mother go on with life after she lost a child?........... :-(

When I first found out that I'm pregnant I was indecisive whether to breast feed or bottle feed. Then I read that breast feeding has a lot of advantages like losing weight quicker after birth. Just there I made up my mind. I am still breast feeding Zander and plan to until he is 1 year old. Unfortunately, I still didn't lose all the pregnancy weight. So is it true that you lose weight easier because you are breast feeding? I doubt!
BUT.. It IS true that it's best for your baby! Zander was born in March this year (at 36 weeks), winter in South Africa. He only weighed 2.46 Kg at birth and had to spend his first night in ICU after an emergency caesarian because of placental abruption. His heart beat was only 39 at birth...

While everyone around us had terrible flu and influenza this year, neither one of us had so much as a sniff up until now, more than five months after his birth! I believe it's because I've been breast feeding Zander.

So I'm not thin again yet. And I'm not sure if I'll ever be thin again. But I am happy and our little boy is healthy and that's all that matters for now.